Size Doesn't Matter or Misunderstandings
by justagirl8225
Summary: The size really doesn't matter... Christmas humor.


**Title**: Size Doesn't Matter Or Misunderstandings  
**Pairing/Character**: Lita, Victoria, Melina, Mickie...with a few guys eavesdropping.  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own, I borrow.  
**Rating**: K  
**Summary**: The size really doesn't matter..  
**Spoilers**: No.  
**Warnings**: Well.. depending on how you look at it could be innuendo, but it's not.. honestly!  
**Author Note** It's just a simple discussion between friends... written as a challenge response at the lita fics community

* * *

_Catering hall_

Before the house show started.. Melina, Mickie, Victoria and Lita were sitting around the catering hall.. The two younger divas disucssing their respective Christmas plans.. Victoria interrupting with a question..

"It really doesn't matter, does it?"

Melina shrugged, "I don't think so.. I mean, you can fit as much as you want under it so long as the placement is right."

"And," Mickie spoke up next, "it really doesn't have to be real.. It could be fake."

Victoria nodded, "it doesn't have to be cut, either.. You could grow your own."

Lita nodded easily, "I think that's the better way, you know? Sure, you have to protect it from extreme weather and whatnot, but.. It's all natural."

"Totally," Melina toyed with a strand of her hair, "though.. You can use the cut piece.. Boil it in water and has the most wonderful smell."

"I've done that before." Mickie beamed, "and you're right Mel.. It has the most wonderful smell.. All through the house, just like Christmas cookies."

Victoria drummed her fingers on the table, "well here's another question.. Size doesn't matter.. But what about material? I mean, it doesn't have to be standard--"

"I've seen people with prickly ones," Lita put in thoughtfully, "in sand and decorated."

Melina blinked, "prickly?"

"Uh huh, prickly.. Though, this year.. I think I'll buy a baby one. That way I'll always have a real one to use."

_Across the catering hall.._

Carlito blinked, "what are they talking about?"

John Cena shuddered, "I dunno man, but, uh.. It really don't sound good."

_Back with the divas.._

"So you're going to buy one?" Mickie frowned in thought, "they have farms for that, right?"

Victoria nodded, "yeah.. Just like they sell the cut ones...and fake ones in the store. They've got farms for the baby ones."

Melina smiled, "I think that would be nice.. Just going to a farm, to look at them."

Lita grinned, "especially if they're covered in snow."

"Mmm," Mickie rested her forearms on the table, "you know what? We should all go.. Pick out baby ones."

Victoria beamed, "now that sounds like a plan.. How about next week?"

Melina clapped her hands together, "this is so exciting! I love Christmas!"

_And back with the guys.._

Carlito arched an eyebrow, "they're talking about Christmas?"

John shrugged, "apparently so.. Though, I kinda thought they was talkin' about--"

Adam rolled his eyes at the pair, "you two are such reekazoids." He crumpled up his napkin, tossing the small paper ball at John. "We'll go settle this once and for all."

_And back with the divas.._

"Hey ladies," Randy Orton greeted smoothly, "what's up?"

Lita sent him a smile, "we were just talking about Christmas trees.. And what type to get this year."

"Oh," he stood behind the redhead, one hand behind his back...the other holding up a sprig of mistletoe. "Well would you--"

The redhead rolled her eyes, "nice try, Randy. But it doesn't count unless it's nailed to something or in a doorway."

Randy waved it off, "details, details.. Where's my kiss?"

Before he could get his kiss... John, Carlito and Adam approached the table.. The West Newbury native peering curiously between the four divas. "What where y'all talking about?"

Mickie arched an eyebrow, "why does it really matter?"

Carlito shrugged, "it doesn't really but.. We were just wondering, you know?"

Victoria sent an amused look between the three males, "we were talking about Christmas trees."

Dark eyes glinted as they held blue. "Why, John.. What did you think we were talking about?"

"I'll follow you around all day until I get my kiss."

"I wouldn't put it past you."

"Christmas trees?"

Melina rolled her eyes, "that's what Vicki just said. Honestly, Johnny boy, your mind needs to come out of the gutter once in awhile."

"One little kiss? Is that asking for too much?"

"Randy.. There is no such thing as 'one little kiss' in your vocabulary."

"My mind's outta the gutter...once in awhile."

Adam scoffed, "like never?" The Canadian nodded to Randy, "just like he's eternally chasing and can't get a clue?"

"Li, come on.. One kiss, that's all I'm asking for." The third generation wrestler pouted, "please?"

The redheaded diva smirked, reaching into her bag...setting a Hershey's kiss on the table. "Here's your kiss.. Happy now?"

"No."

Lita rolled her eyes, "honestly, Randy.. I have a cold. What happens if you get sick, hmm?"

"Like he cares about that," Adam commented shortly, the green eyed man blinking when Randy glared. "What did I do?"

The divas pushed back from the table in near unison, Lita addressing the guys. "We have to get out of here.. Santa's Little Helper match to get ready for.. Six diva actually."

Randy followed after her, "I'm serious, Li.. I won't leave you alone."

John blinked, the older man following after his friend. "Hey.. You gonna share that mistletoe or not?"

Adam shook his head when Carlito left, muttering something about childish friends as he exited the catering hall.

**- FIN - **


End file.
